I don't really like cake. And I certainly don't like it with ice cream. Ew. (It's a texture thing) I tolerate cupcakes just because they're cute. I don't like pancakes, or anything with molasses or raw onions. (Those last two were irrelevant, but just in case you were wondering). I'm not actually a picky eater - give me some octopus risotto or a good slice of apple pie any day and I'll be happy. I just know what I like.
And I don't like cake.
Mostly because I've never been very good at making them. The shortening frosting disaster of '08 anyone? I bought this fancy pants book of cake decorating and every single recipe failed. And not in the well, that wasn't great I guess I'll feed it to my friends way... in the please dear lord what is this and why am I eating it get it out of my mouth kind of way.
Ina Garten be my wife. I'm not kidding you. Lesbihonest here, I would do dirty things to the woman who could make me want to eat an entire cake. Miranda Hobbes have to throw it in the garbage and spray it with windex to stop eating it style. Just kidding I never did that.
I probably would have, but I haven't actually sliced the cake yet. It's sitting pretty on it's cake stand waiting to be adorned with candles for a special birthday someone. (Happy Birthday Harry!) I'd like to say I adapted the recipe, but really I just changed a couple things because I felt like it. Hey, I do what I want!
(Preheat oven to 350F) Measure out all cake ingredients.
PROTIP: No need to fear if you don't have any buttermilk - measure out a cup of milk and add 2 tbsp of lemon juice and let sit. Mmmm, curdled "buttermilk".
"Sift" all the dry ingredients.
PROTIP: Put away your sifter, just put the dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk them together. This effectively "sifts" your flour/sugar/etc.
Vanilla, Coffee, Oil, Buttermilk (Missing? Eggs)
On low, add all the wet ingredients into the dry!
Divide into two cake pans and put into preheated oven. Boom. Set a timer for 37 minutes. Bang. (In my oven this was the exact time that it took to bake!)
On to the buttercream...
Measure out your chocolate. Ou baby, gimmie some of that good stuff.
Just for funzies, this is what I cut my 6oz of chocolate off of... We have another one of these + 2 white chocolate bricks downstairs.
I guess you should probably measure out your other ingredients too. I guess.
PROTIP: If you're like me and forgot to leave your butter out to get to room temp, put it in the microwave for 26 seconds. DON'T QUESTION ME.
Flame, meet pot. Pot, meet water. Water make your steam to high five the bowl of chocolate.
PROTIP: This is called a bain marie. Fancy shmancy french for boiling water and putting something over top of it. If you're like me, you probably also didn't think to boil water earlier, so put on your pot and go do something productive. Like dishes or something!
Hiiii melty chocolate!
Mix the butter, than add the eggs and vanilla and sugar and everything else. Then the chocolate and coffee. (So boring, everything is white, so here's a picture of the eggs because I feel like I neglected them in the cake... because I almost did. Shhh, don't tell them)
BEEPBEEP Cake's donneeezooo (: Pull them out, take the sides off, and let them fully cool before frosting them.
CAKE, ASSEMBLE.
PROTIP: Cut the tops of the cakes to get rid of that dome bit. Eat all of it. Especially if you're not sure if you're going to be able to actually eat the cake later. Slather that baby with buttercream and maybe go to a private room or something...
Cut some lady fingers in half and place them like a fence around your cake.
PROTIP: This is what I do when I think the sides of my cake look ugly and I don't want to be bothered putting more frosting everywhere and getting it on my hands and blah blah... this also works with almonds (classy cakes), sprinkles, etc.
For the whole recipe with the actual measurements and everything, ch-ch-ch-eck out the printable recipe!
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