Showing posts with label Relationshipping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationshipping. Show all posts

Monday, 14 October 2013

Relationshipping: The "Double Concussion" Fight

About a year ago I wrote this post, a just kidding "how to" on how to give yourself a concussion... twice. Basically, I ran into a shelf and then when the nice doctor tried to help me out and give me a shot to ease my pain I passed out, knocking my head on the floor resulting in a second concussion. Believe you me, not as fun as it sounds!




Anyways, I was thinking a lot about those concussions, and realized that they seem quite similar to the way Trent and I fight. To air our dirty laundry out there, we fight. A lot. Mostly we just bicker, there's never anything serious but we get into pretty hardcore yelling matches over who should have done the laundry that day... we're both way to stubborn to ever just concede. 

A lot of times, when we fight one person will get mad (usually me) over something stupid, and then I'll be upset for a while, realize that something was stupid (it almost always is), go to apologize and then in the conversation about why we were upset and why we're sorry one of us usually says something almost as stupid as the fight was (that part is usually Trent) and someone gets frustrated and storms off angrily (yup, that's me). Hense, the double concussion. There's a problem, we try to solve the problem, wooops! New problem.

I'll fully admit that I'm way too overdramatic and oversensitive. I get upset extremely easily and I make things up in my head about why we're fighting. Unknown to Trent - we're usually fighting (in my head...) the whole time we're not speaking - mostly because it's easier for him to lose in my head than in real life. Does anyone else do this? I feel like I sound pretty bat shit crazy right about now!

We're both unbelievably stubborn and hard headed, and almost always think that the other person must be wrong. When we're fighting its like a tsunami of emotions flying through the air at warp speed but when we're not we're a force to be reckoned with. I'm not entirely sure how exactly we resolve our fights. Mostly just a little bit of space and after the second fight everything is out in the air. We don't try and talk it over we just say I'm sorry, I love you and move on. 

I'm a huge believer in not going to bed angry, which means that sometimes we're up waaayy too late (and believe me that doesn't help things at all) trying to hash things out, but I also will pretty much always be the first to say sorry. I'm a hurricane of emotions, but once I let everything out I'm usually alright... for a little while! ;)


Do you and your person (best friend, boyfriend, hubby, mom, whatever) fight on the regular? How do you two deal with it?


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Sunday, 7 April 2013

Relationshipping: Thoughts About Space...

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll have noticed a new face. Blog people, meet Trent! (Also known as TJ, Teej, boytoy, or boyfriend)


He's a giant goofball and puts up with my antics. We have a great time together, and we spend almost every single day together.

BUT...

Sometimes a girl just wants to be alone and read fashion blogs and swoon over DIY's and pin things on Pinterest and read romance novels and eat way to many TimTams.

Since I arrived in Australia I have not spent a single day alone. I'm always with someone doing something even if it's just watching tv. And sometimes it's hard to ask for time by yourself. I sat down with boyfriend and we had a little chat - I need me time. You know, for me. 



I told him that sometimes I'm just going to take my computer to a coffee shop and order a ridiculously expensive coffee and some sort of sugary pastry and sit looking at girlie things on the internet for a while. I told him that I'd love to curl up in a lounge chair and read a book cover to cover with no one pestering me to do anything. Or sometimes I just really want to bake (He was really okay with this one!)

In my opinion, your relationship with yourself is just as important as your relationship with other people. And if you never have time to reflect on the person you are and who you're becoming and what decisions you are making you will eventually begin to reflect the ideas and opinions of other people. 

AND I'M A PRETTY AWESOME PERSON!

I don't want to lose myself in my relationship, nor do I want to lose my opinions, my individuality and the things that attract people to me in the first place!

What do you think? Is space important in a relationship? What do you do when you're alone?


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