Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Blogtember 1/20: What I Remember...

All of September I'm participating in "Blogtember" with Jenni from Story of My Life. The goal is to get back to blogging not to have "the coolest posts" but to share your story with the world. There will be a different prompt every day of the week - weekends are off! Today's prompt is:

Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Asking me where I'm from is a tough question. I can't answer with a place, or really a certain set of people (besides my immediate family). Growing up, I was constantly moving. 

Me and my Grandpa, I miss you.

I was born in Kitchener, Ontario (Canada). I lived there for the first 8 years of my life, which unfortunately are all pretty foggy. I know that I loved to sit on my neighbours rock in front of their house and would chat away to no one in particular for hours at a time. I remember having an awesome swimming pool with two different slides and a diving board, and that one time at my clown themed birthday party Alexander Buckingham pretended he could swim in the deep end and my dad had to save him. I remember my mom bringing home my new baby brother, who I couldn't play with because he came out backwards and was broken. I remember Easters, Christmases, Sunday dinners at Grandma's and birthdays. I remember my new baby sister who I "liked better" because I was allowed to hold her. I remember my awesome tree house that had a secret trap door, and that my dziadzia came and wired it so I could have a light in there. I remember wanting to live in that room forever. I also remember my first friend, Danielle. I remember sleepovers at her house and the magic barbie doll that actually blinked if you didn't look at it for long enough. I remember jumping up and down because I was excited I could stay for dinner and hitting my chin on the counter, resulting in chin tape and small scar I still have today. I remember the hot summer day we left, driving away in the mini van, not speaking to my parents for tearing me away from the place I grew up.

Top: Caitlyn and David aka love of my life Bottom: Emily and me. This was right after our grade 8 graduation!

When I was 8 we moved to Worcester, Massachusetts (USA). The first couple of years there are still slightly foggy, although there are a few distinct memories. I remember living in two different hotels. I remember watching my dad walk across the bridge in Cambridge, where we lived at the Double Tree. I remember living at the Embassy Suites and coming home from school with head lice. I remember packing my lunch from the continental breakfast and I remember my sister getting her hand stuck in the VCR. I remember the kind older waitresses who turned into grandmothers who gave us beanie babies when we moved out. I remember the funny accents and people calling water fountains bubblers. I remember being embarrassed because I was foreign.. different. I remember painting my bedroom with clouds on the walls, and I remember my first day of middle school. I remember talking about boys and painting my fingernails with my best friend Emily. I remember going to six flags and being grown up to go to the movies or to the mall all by ourselves. I remember shopping for anything pink and shiny and family dinners every night. I remember my first kiss with the boy "I was going to spend the rest of my life with." I remember the anger and hate towards my parents for making me leave everything I loved.. again.

L to R: Baking cookies, BFF Photoshoot, Grade 9 Orientation, Spirit Day

When I was 14 we moved to Guelph, Ontario (Canada).  I was headed into my first year of high school, at a new school where I knew no one. I had been on top of the world in my last school. I remember feeling anxious and terrified. I remember walking in and not knowing anyone. I remember eating my lunch in the bathroom alone because I was too scared to eat with anyone else. I remember trying out for cheerleading and being told I wasn't peppy enough. I remember making my first friends a couple months into school and racing home to tell my mom. 
L to R: Grade 9 Semi formal, the ex boy and I, Cassy and I at prom

I remember learning and developing and changing. I remember fighting with my parents (sorry mom + dad!) and trying to grow up too fast. I remember my first job, at Dairy Queen. I remember my first boyfriend, and my second. I remember falling in love, and giving him everything. I remember having my heart broken. I remember not having a date to prom, and my best friend and true knight-ess in shining armour coming to my rescue. I remember packing up all of my stuff, and being so excited to leave.

L to R: My alter ego Rebaybay, me and Chelsea as big boss chefs, Me and Daniela at a conference.

When I was 18 I moved out to Niagara On The Lake, Ontario (Canada). It was my first year of college and I was determined to make it a fresh start. I wanted to be a "cool kid." I made it my goal to say to everyone I met, "Hi, I'm Becky." It worked... kinda. I remember signing my first lease and meeting my first roommate (Zana!), and then the other two. I remember meeting my neighbours who then became my new best friends. I remember my first beer bong, my first game of beer pong, my first tequila shot (barely). I remember wanting to change so badly. I remember being in debt but not caring. I remember amazing classes, and then the ones I skipped. 

L to R: Zana, Carly, Me at Halloween. Our first party and "the sexmill". 2 Girls 10 Cups at our first beer pong tournament. Go team lingerie picture.

I remember house parties, girl nights, hangover Chinese buffets, secret santas and reindeer hunting. I remember making up words, making new friends, losing friends, making new ones. I remember hundreds of new facebook friends, contacts with names like "grey shirt guy" and having dibs on that cute guy in the burgundy shirt. I remember being fun, slutty, happy. I remember a falling out. I remember being scared and feeling alone. I remember meeting Joe. I remember falling in love, feeling elated and ecstatic  I remember being more conservative, yet so happy. 

L to R: My first glimpse of the mountains. Sad in the airport. Flying above the clouds. 

Right before my 19th birthday I moved across the country to Lake Louise, Alberta. We were required to do a 5 month co-op period for our culinary management co-op diploma. I left my boyfriend, my regular life, and all internet and cell phone service behind and packed my bags for what can only be described as the summer from hell, or the best decision I have ever made. I remember being in a long distance relationship with no technology to connect us. I remember spending hours in my room or watching tv and ignoring the beautiful mountains. I remember never feeling good enough, and always working breakfast (aka the shit shift). I remember working 16 hour days for $90. I remember getting yelled at, getting pushed around, and getting better. I remember crying myself to sleep. I remember counting down the days until I went back home, and I remember the day I left for the airport. 

Some school things and Joe and I before I left for Alberta.

When I was 19 I moved back to Niagara On The Lake, Onatrio to complete my second year of school. I remember hating my new roommates. I remember feeling more alone than ever. I remember feeling isolated from my friends and reaching out for new ones. I remember living with my boyfriend and never quite feeling right about it. I remember pulling away. I remember skipping classes. I remember random nights out with my friends. I remember the feeling of it all slipping away and there was nothing I could do to get it back. I remember getting 2 jobs, working hard, trying to make myself feel stable and happy. I remember getting that phone call, and agreeing to leave.

Top: Last night out with the Baker Creek Crew, Night out with old friends and new, big drink with Chelsea. 
Bottom: Smiles in the ski lift, ice skating on Lake Louise, photoshoot in the kitchen.

Right before my 20th birthday I moved back across the country to Lake Louise, Alberta. I went back to the same place for the same person. I was working for slightly more money, but still zero respect. I remember my relationship ending. I remember a new one accidentally forming. I remember being unhappy and more alone than ever. I remember my best friends moving across country. I started to remember all of the amazing things that college had been. I remember an explosion of tempers, a broken door frame, and a broken heart (not mine). I remember being terrified. I remember things starting to get better. I remember starting to break out of the shell I had built for myself so long ago, and brushing off so many insecurities. I remember seeing friends fall in love, become better, be happier. I remember making new great friends, and branching out in my career. I remember learning more in 4 months than I learned in school. I remember snowboarding in the Rocky Mountains, and conquering my fears. I remember my heart being stolen, if only for a second. I remember making the decision to leave. 

Top: Zana and I before the Coffs Cup, Trent and I at sunset
Middle: Skydiving! Smiles at our bonfire. 3pm foot photos.
Bottom: Pictures at Nambucca Heads, Our first photo in Australia, My Kombi obsession at Splendour in the Grass

In February 2013, I moved across the world to Australia. I have since explored Coffs Harbour. I have met some incredible people and have made my mark on this place. I have worked in a kitchen completely different to anything I had worked in before. I have probably over indulged  but I have had fun. I have let this country have a part of my heart. I have met someone who I truly feel makes me a better person and supports me in every endeavour. I have seen whales jumping out of the water at sunset and jumped out of a plane.

Someone once said to me, the only thing constant is change. I have changed location, changed plans, changed my mind. I have changed perspectives and opinions. But I am happy. 

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